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I Haven't Been Myself lyrics

by John Reuben

I'm not alright I haven't been myself lately
I'm not okay with the way I've let my thoughts overtake
take me away to a place I shouldn't have gone
I hope I'm not here for long
I'll see you when I'm better
I'll see you when I'm better

It's gotta get worse to get better
it went from no way never to okay whatever
slowly but surely and sure is, sure is blurry
the things that once were me are no longer
every so often God reminds me
but I'm always there in front to blind me
man, I value my pride more than peace of mind
my precious pride
there was a time when I had control
but I let it go
I watched the world pass in slow motion
my life's ahead of me
I can't catch up
stuck in a rut
I went to willingly
these thoughts are killing me
I wish I could control myself but I can't
or can I? Man I'm gone
I hope I'm not here for long
it's just a visit
ashamed of who I've become
it's not really me, or is it?


Thoughts led to emotion which led to action
I hate the fact that it happened
The Lord can forgive and forget
But I'm not able to do it
Maybe there is where the problem lies
I'm unable to forgive myself
Plus I'm too proud to ask for help
Well I'm sorry for who I've become
I guess circumstances can leave you numb
Plus I refused accountability
It seemed like such small things you found in me
I called you secluded and alluded to the fact that your concerns were silly
Man don't overreact
Now lookin back in hindsight
I'm able to see that you were right
Is it too late for me?
I know it's not
It's just up to me to choose to stop

© 2003 Gotee Records

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