K here's the thing, i have a step mom and she is verbally abusive towards me. i need some help on this one because i don't know wether to stand up to her or sit and take it. i mean, i know i need to be respectful, but honestly, i'm destracted during worship and my grades are dropping slowly but surely. i can talk to my brothers and sisters about anything, but for some reason, i don't want to talk to them about this. and the worst part is, my dad will never stand up for me, no matter how much she cusses and yells and tells me i'm lazy and worthless, he'll never do anything!
please guys, i need your input, because i never thought of running away before this, i loved my dad to much, but now my moms gone and it seems almost worth it.
HELP

I think your action depends on your age and situation.

If you are financially independent and could live away from home, it would certainly help.
But, you can get through this living with her.

My dad was often known to say horrible things to me, and destroyed my self-worth ideas. So i know what it is like, i know it is hard. It can be very hard to express your needs to someone who won't listen, and also be respectful.

Non-retaliation is the first important thing. No matter what she says to you, try not to fight back. It will only make it worse. I learnt this the hard way!!

Would she be open to you having a chat to her about how you're feeling? Is there a way you could explain to her how what she is saying effects you, without her getting angry and turning it back on you?
I presume you have talked to your dad about the situation?

There is a difference between your dad knowing from sitting and seeing, and him knowing from you talking to him about it and expressing your feelings/needs.

Ok, so your sister is a possibility, IF you needed to move out. (Although that would b very disruptive for you, and your dad. And you'd prob need money to feed yourself)

As for not wanting to leave your dad with her... He married her didn't he? If it is too bad he can leave her (as bad as that sounds, it is true). So i would not worry about stressing about that.
How your dad reacts is not your problem. You can make it clear to him that it is NOT his fault, but it is up to him whether he listens.

As for not fighting back, i am proud of you.
I may not have stopped her yelling, but it gives you a clear conscience.
I know it's not much consolation, but i am sure that God honours you for your self-control.

I know this next idea is often frowned upon by alot of people, but in all honesty, it helped me alot until i was in a position where i had influence to change things.
Avoidance.
Is there any ways you could avoid being around her as much as possible?
Stay at school doing work in the library.
Do your homework in your room.
Find other hobbies to do in your room.
Go to a friend's house (if allowed).
Go for a run/bike ride/etc...
Go shopping.
Etc... You get the idea.

Ok, so lets look at solutions where you do not leave your dad.

Ahh... medication issues. If she takes her medication, is she alot better? Or not much?

It's good to hear she seems to be thinking about things abit more now. It's a start, and it's better than nothing.
So, is the bigger problem now what she says about your dad?

It is hard when people are saying bad things about someone you love.
It always hurt me more (& still does) when mum & dad fight, or my sister & dad fight, than when me & dad fight. (It's always dad that people fight with).

What type of things does she say? (it's ok if you're uncomfortable saying what, you don't have to.)

And, are you able to try to "accept" them as her opinion- she is entitled to her own opinion (although, she should not be sharing it if it is negative and not fact). I know it is hard to ignore, especially if it hurts your dad.

Has your dad said anything to you about how he feels about the things she says to him about him?

guys, you have no clue, seriously you don't, of just how much your input helps me.

Emi;she often comments on his "bad parenting skills"(no worse than hers)
on his intelligence
on the "fact" that he never does anything(not true & i'd rather him not have a heart attack even if it where)
& on the way he spends money(not much)
yes, it does help ALOT when she takes her meds.
but she is so paranoid that after she stopped taking them, she also hid them
apparently, she thinks that dad would drug her(also not true)
here's whats odd though,
lately she's been really calm.
i prayed alot, and i finally got up the courage to ask one of my friends to pray and,
it looks like its working.

ilovemusic101; i don't know you, i still love you to death anyway, but her brain works better than industrial earplugs at blocking out what i say.
i'm not demeaning you in any way, but you get my point.

p.s. love you emi

Vengeance is mine thus saith the Lord,

Just love her and be a light to her and the rest of your family
hatred is the absence of love
darkness is the absence of light

God told us to be salt and light,
God has your sitiuation there for a reason,
all you can so is trust Him Love her and talking to us will help your confidence.

sorry if i butted in un anounced and please tell me if it is none of my buisness.
But i hope this helped
Trust on the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways agnowlage Him and He will direct your Steps'

Thanks, Hope this helps

Good to hear she hasn't picked a fight for a short while!
Any improvement is a good improvement! :)

I hope she continues to chip in abit more, and be abit more positive, etc...
And i will pray you continue to have patience & show God's grace & forgiveness as best you can. :)

:P Hehe... You have a very good point there.
But, you can't stop me posting on here! :P (Although, i'd hope you wouldn't want me to- if you do, let me know).