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    • CommentAuthorphenom2389
    • CommentTimeJun 6th 2008 edited
     
    Hey guys. I just joined here, so how is everybody?
    • CommentAuthorEmi
    • CommentTimeJun 8th 2008
     
    Hi there! :) Welcome.
  3.  
    Hey there. Say, just how often do people post on here? Just so I kind of know how often to check my posts.
    • CommentAuthorEmi
    • CommentTimeJun 10th 2008
     
    It varies.. Sometimes it seems people post a lot, other times it may be a week or so.
    But i generally have a look if there's new posts every second or so day. (So if you have a question i can help with, the reply won't be too long)
    But i can't speak for others.
    • CommentAuthorphenom2389
    • CommentTimeJun 10th 2008
     
    Okay, thanks. And, uh, I'm just going to jump right in here. I need advice on how to make things right with two of my friends who I've thoroughly (I don't think that's spelled right...) angered and hurt. I've told them I'm sorry, but I don't know what to do to make things right.
    • CommentAuthorEmi
    • CommentTimeJun 11th 2008
     
    Apologizing's a great step (which it sounds like you've done).
    You cannot make anyone forgive you, or make them want things to be put right. All you can do, is how you behave/react/relate.
    And alot of that (i think) depends on what was done to anger/hurt them.
    Is there some way (maybe something you can do) to take back what happened? or to let them know (experientially, not intellectually) that you are sorry.

    I am lucky enough to not have been hurt by my friends much, any hurt has been accidental, and i know that. Likewise, my friends haven't (to my knowledge) been hurt by anything i've done or said.
    BUT, i do have friends who have been by others.

    If you don't mind my asking, what did you do? (Don't feel you have to answer this, only if you're comfortable).
    Or what was the nature of it? (Said or Did?)
    • CommentAuthorphenom2389
    • CommentTimeJun 11th 2008
     
    I just said some things that were hurtful (not intentionally, but without thinking) and one of them feels I went behind her back, and I just crossed some lines. Things kind of errupted last night and I explained that I was sorry, and that I never intended to hurt them, but the damage has been done. I'm just afraid that I'm going to lose them because of it.
    • CommentAuthorphenom2389
    • CommentTimeJun 11th 2008
     
    And I don't feel like there is anything I can do to take it back, though I want soo bad to just take it all back and get back to the way things were.
    • CommentAuthorEmi
    • CommentTimeJun 13th 2008
     
    If you accidentally said something hurtful, then all you can do is apologise. If they don't want to accept the apology, that's their fault (not yours). I know it's not any easier for you if you want things to be "made right", but it is the choice they have.

    As a day-to-day, normal conversation thing (not a go-out-of-your-way thing) i would just mention things you appreciate about them, if the conversation leads that way. Don't try to force it in- that won't do too well.

    A good friend should know your personality, and know that it was an accident and you don't really mean it. I would have thought that if they will take offence and not forgive after you explain/apologise then they may not be your best friends...
    I know that doesn't make it much easier.

    But don't "retaliate" to their anger(?) or whatever, just continue to be friendly and nice. But if they want space, grant it to them.


    I have people who have hurt me (people who i thought loved and cared for me), and they knew it would hurt me and did it anyway (which is different to you, i know). I forgive them (as much as i've been able to so far), but i desire no relationship/connection with them. And that is OK. I can be civilised to them, but i would not choose to be near them.
    • CommentAuthorphenom2389
    • CommentTimeJun 13th 2008
     
    That was one of my mistakes: because of my hurt, I retaliated. I regret doing so, but I know I can't take it back. I wish I could, but I can't. But it is up to them, and I've done my part. It's up to them where this thing goes from here. I guess I'll just have to wait out the storm. I'll have to pray and see where this goes, I guess.

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