I used to self-injure. I want to tell my mom so that I can wear shorts and t-shirts again, but I'm terrified and don't know how to tell her. Any suggestions?

Mate, there's no easy way to tell anyone- especially your mum. (yeah yeah, i'm Aussie, not American so i'll spell it "mum" :P )

Because, as a mum naturally will, she'll care for you. She'll prob'll want an assurance that you don't any longer. (And if you don't anymore- give her that assurance).

But i think it's a good thing you're telling her.. And i think to just make sure she's in a reasonable and stable mood. It takes alot of guts- i've been there! (I remember when i had to admit to my mum i'd tried to kill myself- not an easy thing).
But she's not going to be angry at you for telling her. She may seem alittle (or alot..) upset, perhaps because you didn't tell her at the time, or because she feels she should have done something and noticed..
But this is not your fault or problem.

I would suggest to casually say it. Not in the sense of just slip it into a conversation, but in the sense of purposefully sitting down- but don't make it any more tense or formal than you need to. (Coffee can work well!)

In terms of what to say... That's the hardest part.
I would (if it were me and my mum) let her know why i'm telling her.

I'll pray for you. I don't know if this has helped any, but i hope it's better than nothing.

Tell us how it went/goes.

Your mum should take it better than your sister- she's older, more mature and yes, more "exposed" and experienced.

I think that your history of hurting yourself will be more shameful to you (in your eyes) when you keep it a secret, than when you tell your mum. Things left in the dark and secret fester and get "infected", but when exposed and open to truth, they can heal.
This is not to say to tell everyone you know what happened- many/most would be unwise to tell and not know how to deal with it.

As encouragement for you- if things still aren't so well, they can get better.
I'm really surprised, but over the last few weeks i've been feeling great. I prayed with some friends and i've felt much the better for it. I've spent the last 6 years being depressed. (That's more than a third of my whole life!)
But i actually feel i'm coming out of it. God's been faithful to me.


Something i've found REALLY helpful, and i encourage all my friends who are stuggling a lot to consider doing, is to find someone older than you, an adult, who is not part of your family who you trust and who is experienced and would know what to do when you're stuggling, and not freak out. Someone who you can tell everything, and they'll just be there for support, and they can pray with you and for you.
I've been very lucky in this regard. God's led me to the absolute best people he could have. I know them from church, but they're now my best friends. They treat me as they would their own daughter- i can ask anything, i can do anything and they'll love me the same. The only way the don't treat me the same as their daughter- they don't punish me. (They may reprimand me or suggest changing things though).
But they are the best support system (them being both the husband and wife). But, you'd need to choose a person carefully, not all would know what to do. I was lucky, they were (unbeknown to me) the leaders/elders of our church's healing ministry; and later became pastoral care pastor.

That sounds a good option. :) I would encourage you to pursue it- you can always end it again if you (or him) are uncomfortable with it.

That's the thing with it. You feel no one understands, but yet we don't want to get close enough to anyone to find out if they understand- we've been hurt too many times. (I think that's the appeal of the net, it's less personal, and if someone hurts you, you don't have to ever meet them again).

I can't help much in terms of guys. I've never been there. I have a friend who has the same problem as you. I was talking to her the other day, and she was saying that she knows and believes God's real.. But she also knows that if she were to become a Christian she'd give up her "habits", which she wasn't prepared to do. She liked her lifestyle, she liked her addictions. But she knew they were wrong.

But not really knowing much about it, i wasn't able to offer much help or advice.
All i can say is a few general things. Not specific to this topic.

If you want to change for the better- God will help you EVERY step of the way. He won't get fed up when you stumble, He'll help you again.
God accepts you either way, but he knows which way's better for you. He always wants what's best for you.

Secondly, the "addiction" isn't going to go away without curing the need that's there.
Ask yourself, "why do you need it?" And be honest with yourself.
I've found sometimes i don't want to admit to myself why i need/want certain things. But once i do things are easier.

And once you know what it is you're lacking, ask God for it. If it's love you need, God can provide more than we need, more than we can even fathom!
If it's support, God is the best supporter, comforter, sustainer. He has all provisions. He is a best friend (and the best of them!)


No matter what, it will be a struggle- no one will deny it. Even when you know God has all you need, it's still hard. But, each time you try again and trust in God's faithfulness it'll get abit easier.
I wish i could say it's a "once it's conquered it doesn't come back" thing, but i don't believe it. It can definitely get to a point where you can resist and aren't dependent. But on a day when you're weak and everything going wrong, it's soo easy to fall back into what you've known before. But remember, those days are when God's strongest in our life- if we'll let him.

I hope that's abit of encouragement.

Ask yourself why you want to (exactly why- the root cause). Don't be afraid to explore the reasons behind the desire, and the reason for the emotion.

(I know it's confronting, i know it can be hard. Sometimes, perhaps, you may not even understand why. I've been there. I know that. But being honest with yourself is an essential).

And ApoligetixFan that is a good idea. talk to someone in authority who you trust will give you advice that they believe will help. It doesnt matter if theyve helped a lot of people before, just go to them, in your case the counselor and explain what youve been through, and ask to pray with him. If we let God carry our issues we dont have to go through them ourselves.

Scared of what?

What do you fear you would be?


(As a side question, you don't have to answer if you are uncomfortable.. Are you a Christian?
I ask as i will shape my answers accordingly. (i.e. if you aren't i will try not to speak from a "God says this".))

Ok. It's good of you to be honest.
Why do you find it hard to believe in God?
(Because "How could God let this happen? or what specifically?)

I'll put this to you- being angry at God is very different to not believing. I have never doubted (as in, seriously to the point of deciding God is fake) the existence of God. But, i have sometimes doubted the goodness of God. I have hated God, i have been angry at God...
But all those things are only possible if i believe in a God.

Also, i have found that the things that caused me to hate God soo much and disbelieve His goodness weren't actually things that He aught to take the blame for.
I will admit that even know, despite loving God and Him being the only reason i choose i live, that currently i have one issue that i am "arguing" with God about.
(Arguing with God never works too well- He is always right. However, if i think something's unfair and i'm angry, i will express it to God (although, if i weren't to He'd still know about it) and i ask how, in His opinion, it is fair. Get God's opinion.)


One of my friends from school, he grandma died 2 years ago. I remember at the time that on one hand she was really sad- she missed he Gran. But on the other, she was happy for her Gran- She knew her Gran was a Christian and was going to be with God for eternity.